So. catching up.
Night IOP is a thing. It's real. Three nights a week for four hours or so. Yeah. Maybe 6-8 weeks, it's all up to ashley I guess.
This starts wednesday at the earliest. I am terrified.
I talked to someone who went through Bethesda and they made a lot of friends when they did it, I'm hoping I can have that too. Cause having someone who knows exactly what you're in for is really great. It's great with hydrocephalus. Maybe this will be good too.
Picking Littles happened. It was great. We got a LOT of new babies. Especially in the Dazzle.
There was homemade cheesecake and I got some because I loved cheesecake. It was home made by someone I love. I cried when I ate it, it was so good and I'd haven't had it in so long. I was so scared. I did a bad thing yesterday to make sure I could pig out on foods today. I shouldn't have to cry over cheesecake. Paul literally had to put the forkful in my mouth. It was actually kinda funny.
One day.
I thought for awhile about taking someone. I really did. Considering that everyone in our family except me and sammy took littles, it was a lot.
But I know that I'm NOT in a good place to take a little right now. It wouldn't be fair to them if I was still dealing with my own ish and couldn't love them properly like I know I want to.
Having this going on and knowing it's taking so much out of me, I want to love them with all of me, and I know I can't do that right now.
Someone will come along next year and I will hopefully be in a place where I can love them fully with everything I have.
One day, little one.
Until then, I'll love my cousins and nieces and every other relation with everything I've got, just like always.
It's a good thing. It'll be okay.
Woop Woop Woop. Welcome to the family.
Night IOP is a thing. It's real. Three nights a week for four hours or so. Yeah. Maybe 6-8 weeks, it's all up to ashley I guess.
This starts wednesday at the earliest. I am terrified.
I talked to someone who went through Bethesda and they made a lot of friends when they did it, I'm hoping I can have that too. Cause having someone who knows exactly what you're in for is really great. It's great with hydrocephalus. Maybe this will be good too.
Picking Littles happened. It was great. We got a LOT of new babies. Especially in the Dazzle.
There was homemade cheesecake and I got some because I loved cheesecake. It was home made by someone I love. I cried when I ate it, it was so good and I'd haven't had it in so long. I was so scared. I did a bad thing yesterday to make sure I could pig out on foods today. I shouldn't have to cry over cheesecake. Paul literally had to put the forkful in my mouth. It was actually kinda funny.
One day.
I thought for awhile about taking someone. I really did. Considering that everyone in our family except me and sammy took littles, it was a lot.
But I know that I'm NOT in a good place to take a little right now. It wouldn't be fair to them if I was still dealing with my own ish and couldn't love them properly like I know I want to.
Having this going on and knowing it's taking so much out of me, I want to love them with all of me, and I know I can't do that right now.
Someone will come along next year and I will hopefully be in a place where I can love them fully with everything I have.
One day, little one.
Until then, I'll love my cousins and nieces and every other relation with everything I've got, just like always.
It's a good thing. It'll be okay.
Woop Woop Woop. Welcome to the family.
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