So, camp happened.

During art, the kids were painting and whatnot, doing their thing.
Then the kids start asking each other what they wanna be when they grow up. Cute answers like actor or vet or scientist come up. Go girls! 

Then Maggie makes the kids guess our majors. They're nine, they don't know what that means. So she makes them guess what we want to be when we grow up. 

I don't know the answer to that question. I am not a fan of that question at all. I'm so pulled in so many different directions it's insane. I'm working on figuring it all out, very slowly waiting for God to reveal His plan, trying to stay open minded and receptive. 

Waiting is really hard. 

Then, this week, show week, of course. My self esteem is really low. I don't feel good about myself, and I have been taking really good care of my skin, but somehow I have a ton of new pimples? So I'm snapchatting less and less which sucks because that's something I really like doing but I'm embarrassed. I know they'll go away soon but acne makes me feel ugly. I don't like it. I've always been praised for having super-clear skin by my family and friends. So when I get one little zit I naturally freak. It's not perfect anymore. That sucks. I shouldn't let a few little pimples make me feel crappy, but it happens. It's happening. Ugh. 

"can you imagine the world if we only saw souls and not bodies?"

from this-is-whoiam on tumblr

It's almost 1 am and I'm maybe halfway done with my bibliography, maybe. Like over 20 pictures to cite I think. I lost count honestly.

So excuse me if I'm profound and deep rn.

This is such a lovely concept. Seeing someone's soul and not their body. you'd know exactly what they wanted and if they were good or malicious at heart in their core. You can't fake any of that. It's your soul, the truest essence of a person.

I really hope my soul is a good one. You know how people perceive you differently than you perceive yourself? That's a thing. I mean, to me, I don't view myself highly. I don't think I'm a champion. I don't. I am the farthest from it right now. I'm like, last place. Participant ribbon.

I hope that people think my soul is a good one. I hope one day I can be a champion. Maybe one day I'll know for sure. Not today.

Oh Hey! A Bucket List

Thought about making one of these before. It's a work in progress
boop boop
here I go! 

• Go to a Florence and the Machine concert in the front row
• florence welch omg
• Tori Kelly concert
• Fall Out Boy concert
• go to Germany
• Learn enough German to go to Germany proficiently
• during christmas market season.
• with people I know and love
• Travel outside the US
• Go to Seattle
• Go to hawaii
• Go to all the Disney parks
• Go to a disney park with the dazzle (because how amazing would that be!?!)
• Go trapezeing and conquer my fear of heights
• Ride a bike
• Drive
• Aerial silks
• Unicycle? Maybe? 
• Learn German, ASL, and german sign language
• also probably spanish
• be confident to speak languages I learn instead of being some kinda understanding spy dude
• Be a lead in a show

I think that's it for now. It's certainly a long one. Some of them I'm working on right now. Others will take time. 

Is this a sign?

Well, this popped up on my dash, thanks to imapartofallthativemet:

Note to Self: You gotta do this for you. This is for you. This isn't about anybody. Live for you. Honor you. Never lose sight of that.

She said in the tags that she's gonna be a bomb ass lawyer. I fully believe it. I think this is God's nudging me in a direction. Which direction? We will see. 

Orion

This is a galaxy of thought. So why can't they be named off of constellations? 
Starters, I heard this song on the radio and I absolutely loved it. 

The song is Bright by Echosmith. I love it a lot. It's just a happy love song. I love happy positive ooohh aaahh love songs. 

Secondly: Early in the morning when I was having pipe dream thoughts (because duh, you were there. Carrie Hope Fletcher was also there. Kinda. Indirectly. Whatever.) and you told me patience and faith and I made in a quick phone call to God and all that. 

Today I googled what the Bible says about careers. (My friend Heather told me that you should use the Bible like a GPS-when you don't know where to go, use a map! In this case, a bible is a spiritual roadmap. I suppose.)
http://www.openbible.info/topics/choosing_a_career

A few top picks:

• Psalm 32:8 I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you.
• Psalm 37: 4 Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.
• Romans 8:28 And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.
• Galatians 6:9 And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.
• Hebrews 6:15 And thus Abraham, having patiently waited, obtained the promise.

Makes me feel a lot better about giving up my plans to God. He knows what he's doing (I mean, we've gotten this far.) Hopefully I'll have the patience to wait for an answer. When the time comes to pick a career, hopefully I'll know I am making the right choice, regardless of what people think.

At the end of the day, it doesn't matter what other people think.

 It only matters if one person is happy. 

Me. 

Things like money matter. But money won't matter as much if I'm happy doing what I love. 

Dear God,

Take your time. No rush. As soon as you have a plan thought out, please let me know. I'm listening.

Mandy

Bike riding is hard, yo