Tomorrow we go over the bloodwork from last week.
I'm scared af.
Then I get a physical done with miss Bonnie and it gets faxed to Ashley and she'll email or call me or whatever and then give me a recommendation as to what level of treatment I need and how strongly she recommends it.
Which, as an adult, I can refuse.
I effed up big time. I'm 20. I shouldn't be doing this. I left you guys last semester and I might have to leave you guys again. For at least a month. I don't know if I can do this. I might ask if I can just do night iop and then that's only 3 days a week and I just wouldn't be able to do a ton of alpha psi late night things on Monday, Wednesday, or Thursday. That's fine.
But going home and knowing i can't come back for a month again will wreck me. I know you'll all still be here when I'm back. But still. I know it hurts y'all when I'm gone
I know I did this to me in the biggest sense of the word.
I hate that this hurts you guys too. I hate that I'm proabably not going to be able to o to heidelberg, not just cause I can't afford it. I hate that I haven't told Joe yet and that Laura knows but she doesn't know evrything or how severe it is. I hate that I can't tell them, I hate that I fucked up majorly.
I'm so scared and I want to be able to deal with it alone but i know I can't. i hate knowing that I'll probably end up sleeping over with Laura again cause that's what I do on bad nights, and that I can't just get over it. i know she likesknowing what's happening. I'm scared to tell her. I'm really really scared.
I'm scared af.
Then I get a physical done with miss Bonnie and it gets faxed to Ashley and she'll email or call me or whatever and then give me a recommendation as to what level of treatment I need and how strongly she recommends it.
Which, as an adult, I can refuse.
I effed up big time. I'm 20. I shouldn't be doing this. I left you guys last semester and I might have to leave you guys again. For at least a month. I don't know if I can do this. I might ask if I can just do night iop and then that's only 3 days a week and I just wouldn't be able to do a ton of alpha psi late night things on Monday, Wednesday, or Thursday. That's fine.
But going home and knowing i can't come back for a month again will wreck me. I know you'll all still be here when I'm back. But still. I know it hurts y'all when I'm gone
I know I did this to me in the biggest sense of the word.
I hate that this hurts you guys too. I hate that I'm proabably not going to be able to o to heidelberg, not just cause I can't afford it. I hate that I haven't told Joe yet and that Laura knows but she doesn't know evrything or how severe it is. I hate that I can't tell them, I hate that I fucked up majorly.
I'm so scared and I want to be able to deal with it alone but i know I can't. i hate knowing that I'll probably end up sleeping over with Laura again cause that's what I do on bad nights, and that I can't just get over it. i know she likesknowing what's happening. I'm scared to tell her. I'm really really scared.
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