Well then.

A list of things that happened today that weren't so great:

• SO MANY INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS 
• strong pull towards some of them
• especially on the metro this morning
• Very strong urge to self harm
• I didn't act on it bc I don't wanna disappoint my family
• Bombed a psych quiz. 71.
• Didn't complete 2 full meals 
• I'm 20 years old and I can't even do a simple task like cereal and milk without gagging. I feel like an inadequate baby. 
• I know it's physical and not my fault but staff doesn't get it. 
• Lotta things I'm not ready to deal with but will have to anyway
• WORK 
• HOLY SHIT
• I HAVE TO DO THAT YESTERDAY WHY THE EFF DID I WAIT SO LONG THEY'RE NOT GONNA KEEP ME FOR STAFF. 

I'm just really pissed off and angry at myself and the last thing I want people to do is turn it in on them, cause it's not their fault. I'm already bitter about reporting urges for self harm on my form tomorrow, but my Girls have taught me it's better to be honest with your Team, even if it sucks. ugh. 

I hate this. I just wanna sleep forever and not have to go tomorrow. 
But you know what I'll do.