tomorrow

Ugh. I don't want to go
I don't want to go
I really don't want to do this. 
Do I have to? 
Really? 
yeah. I should. 
I could just not go. 
But that's not why I made the call
I have to go
I don't want to go. 

I'm freaking out. My physical and maybe my bloodwork are tomorrow. I am so anxious it's crazy and I just want to scream and cry. But I can't. 

I don't want to go. This weekend hasn't been the best one. It was fun, but I didn't do what I was supposed to do, I let the Thing win. It's not good. I don't want to have a breakdown but I think I need a big screaming crying session, but I'd be embarassed to have anyone see. This all basically determines levels and stuff for real, like, bloodwork doesn't lie. I can't get out of that. The recommendations based off of the results are legit and there's no way around them and it's just like AAAHHHHHHHH and I can't really take it. 

I don't know anymore.