Saturday, May 13, 2017

holding on like a death grip

It's so stupid. 
I don't wanna give the new stage parents the login info. I don't want to finally say goodbye. Then, once I do, it's finally over. That's scary. 

Sometimes, still, I dream that there was a mix up, a fluke, a recount, and I'm stage mom again. I need to wake the hell up and realize that no matter how bad I want it to happen, it's not going to. 

I hope the trend is right, and next year is a surgery year, because that's the only thing that makes sense to my brain as to why. Which, again, is stupid and petty and dumb. I know people had their reasons. I know they're valid. 
It's just so crazy, and I can't let it go, and I can't understand. My brain needs to shut up, and I need to email them. 

Gosh I'm childish. 

count backwards from ten, and you won't even get to three before it's all taken away. 

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